It Was Great Fun Until the Fight Broke Out

When I was 10 we moved to a house that was next to a church. This church had a softball field, an outdoor lined basketball 1/2 court, Tennis courts, and an extra large playground. This provided hours and hours of fun unsupervised play. Most days there were enough friends there to keep the peace when one of us preteens/teenagers lost their temper for any number of reasons: bad day at home or school, a crazy hormone spike, or some hypoglycemia from our school lunch running out. We had no major injuries, but sometimes had some hurt feelings when we or our team lost. But the next day was a whole new day, injuries were scabbed over, relationships got a do over, and redemption for yesterday’s loss was possible. One day it was just me and a new friend. All that we found on the playground was a rubber playground ball that we usually played kickball or 4 square with. As per usual, a lack of other players didn’t stop us from making up a game. We played a simple version of wallball, only we did it down a set of stairs. We would throw it and scramble for it when it bounced off the wall and back up the stairs. This new friend was from another part of the neighborhood and a couple of years older than me. Somehow, this game grew very competitive quickly… go figure one teenager and one preteen boy with turf to defend, and something to prove with a new acquaintance. This new friend soon went from new acquaintance to now rival. I was a little smaller and quicker, so I used this to my advantage when possible. He was larger and stronger which he used to muscle me out of the way. We played for several minutes, sweating, breathing hard from running up and down the steps, and probably dehydrated (this was back in the day when we didn’t run around with water bottles). The ball  bounced off the wall, hit a step and headed back for the wall, we both ran down the steps, jumped the last three and headed for the ball. All four collided at once… and three of us bounced off the wall. We scrambled for the ball that continued bouncing around. I held my own for a moment but my quickness was no help in what became a test of strength. He eventually put me in a headlock and yanked the ball away. My pride and feelings were hurt, so I did what middle schoolers do, I jumped on my bike and rode home to lick my wounds. There was no attempt at reconciliation, no “see you tomorrow,” no “let’s play again,” just “game over” and some brick wounds with salty sweat in them. No more playing together, just competing and survival of the playground fittest. Then it was just awkward whenever he came to our side of the neighborhood again. No love lost between us.

How is it that what is supposed to be a community, so easily turns into “us” versus “them.” This happened at the church building, mind you, a place built to gather in Christ. This still happens in church communities around the world. Instead of us having fun, enjoying connection with our Christian brothers and sisters in Christ, feelings get hurt, isolation happens, it becomes “us” against “them” and community is lost. We begin acting like immature preteens, sacrificing community for our own wounded pride or a turf war. I am sure this is not what Jesus had in mind when he created the church.

The Apostle Peter who was familiar with church conflict and hurt feelings reminds the church. “Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.” (1 Peter 4:8 ESV) He may have been remembering the words that Jesus had told His disciples, “you will be known as one of My people because of your love for one another.” We are not known as Jesus’ disciples because we are the apex alpha who always wins: the debate, disagreement, skirmish, or kerfuffle.  God’s Word reminds us to “grow up, ” give each other a do over, and keep community.

Hang in there people. God is glad to be with us. I’m praying for us all.

No Sleep for Your Eyes Until You Repent

 Photo Credit: OnlineSafetyTrainer.com

I was reminiscing with Chad, a co-laborer in Christ. He had joined my adult leadership team in my first ministry out of seminary. I was the student minister, he was a big hearted skilled craftsman, whose faith had recently been radically revived. The church had an exceptional group of kids and an adult leadership group that was fantastic. On our first mission trip, I took these kids to Cordele, Georgia to help a seminary friend, Ira, who was a church planter. His church start was in the government assisted housing neighborhood he had grown up in with a single mom. The first night of this mission trip, Ira took us to his old neighborhood in our church van towing a trailer and had us park right in the middle of the community. He asked if he could stand on top of the van and borrow our portable sound system to address the crowd. We said, “sure.” We all prayed and he instructed us that when he finished a short sermon we could go meet the neighbors and invite their kids to our Vacation Bible School. But the moment he climbed on top of the van and people began to come outside their apartments to listen, he said the Lord overwhelmed him and he began to prophesy against some of the people in that community. He called them by name and told them to repent. One man in particular, he called by name and told him if he did not repent the Lord would prevent him from sleeping. Ira said, “no sleep will touch your eyes until you turn to the Lord, and repent from your sins.” That man and some others yelled back at Ira, telling him to shut up and go away.  Once my friend came down from the top of the van we sang a hymn and left quickly. Obviously, after that our VBS plans were changed and we wouldn’t be going back to that community. We completed our week helping my friend clean up his rented building, hosting a very small VBS, and helping him host a revival night at his church. Some people came to Christ that revival night, but I never knew what came of those he had prophesied against, until now, 30 years later.  Chad told me that several years later, he was at a gas station somewhere in Georgia when a man came up to him saying he needed a little money for an alternator for his car so he could get home. Chad helped the man and as they talked and walked to the auto parts store, Chad discovered that the man was from Cordele, GA. Chad told the man he had been to Cordele on a mission trip. The man stopped him and said, did you have a preacher on top of a van with a trailer behind it? Chad said, “yes!” The man said, “that preacher on top of the van told me I wouldn’t sleep until I repented. It was true, I was a drug dealer and a pimp, I was a bad man.” He said, "I couldn’t sleep, no matter what I tried. He said he tried lots of alcohol… no sleep! All kinds of pills… no sleep! He said became so miserable he tried overdosing, but he didn't die, nor did he sleep! He said he finally went to the church and repented from his sins and was saved that day. 

The biblical prophet, Jeremiah, tells us that true prophets of God are known by their prophecies coming true (Jer. 28:9). And when God is speaking to Ezekiel about what he should tell the people, He tells him: “When all this comes true—and it surely will—then they will know that a prophet has been among them.” (Ezekiel 33:33) Wow, I hope we listen to God’s prophetic reminders of how we are to treat Him and other people if we really love them. God loves us too much to let us continue in sin, so He is gracious to pursue us and give us grace when we repent. 

Hang in there people! God is glad to be with us! I’m praying for us all!

A Wonderful Honeymoon in Paradise, but It Was What Happened Next that Changed Us More.*

Contentment? We were on our way back from our honeymoon in “Paradise,” when, as planned, we flew into DFW airport to make a visit to Southwestern Seminary where I would be starting classes the next semester. We went from the creature comforts of beautiful island scenery, pleasant accommodations, transportation, and a relaxed pace, to the hot, dry, hustle and bustle of the Dallas-Ft.Worth metroplex. The seminary was beautiful, but noticing the grand scale transition in physical comfort level was unavoidable. From driving a sporty red convertible exploring the tranquil beauty of an Hawaiian Island to a tiny red compact car, contemptuously named “Jellybean.” We were trying to survive navigating Metroplex traffic while looking up from our diminutive vehicle to speeding cars and trucks on converging interstates from every part of the country. We went from a comfortable condo with an ocean view, the sounds of peaceful waves breaking on the rocks and sand and cool breezes, to a dirty hotel room, with sticky carpet, threadbare sheets that your toes stick through and a view of a sweltering blacktop parking lot foreground and interstate background and all the sounds that go with them, as well as, a part-time air conditioner. Anita and I chuckled together at the stark differences that we wondered if they foreshadowed what lay ahead the next few years. God blessed us with a marvelous church, wonderful friends, our own little fixer-upper, and wonderful mentors, who taught us a deepening faith, but most importantly, God assured us that He was With Us. The faith I had known to that point was faith in a middle class home and church with the comforts that go along with it, but I didn’t know what it was like to have to trust God for the next mortgage payment or car repair bill and still trust Him enough to tithe on our meager, but adequate income. I continue to find that God is faithful to be with us in all our circumstances whether with ocean breezes or sweltering dry places or cozy accommodations or freezing cold winters… Christ is still teaching us how to be content in Him and to see His marvelous provision and presence and the comfort of connection to His wonderful people.

The Apostle Paul had survived all kinds of hardships, from shipwrecks, to beatings, to running for his life. He had known privilege, a great education, popularity, and power but he came to know that life and faith were much more than circumstances on this planet. He tells us,
“... for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I find myself. ‘I know both how to make do with little, and I know how to make do with a lot. In any and all circumstances I have learned the secret of being content - whether well fed or hungry, whether in abundance or in need. I am able to do all things through Him who strengthens me.’” Philippians 4:11-13 (CSBBible) As we look at our lives and the sometimes uncomfortable circumstances we are in, we begin to understand that this world is not our permanent home that we are citizens of heaven, but while we continue to dwell here we can handle anything because we have the Spirit of “God With Us” as a reminder and deposit of what He has in store for us for eternity. We can be content in “any and all circumstances.”

Hang in there people! God IS glad to be with us! I’m praying for us all!

The Encourager!*

Harriet, The Encourager! 

I was at a funeral with my dad several years ago were we met a longtime family friend. My mother and this special woman had been friends since I was in elementary school. Immediately, this lady walked toward my dad and me, greeted us with a beautiful smile and words of endearment. Instantly, I was filled with a renewed appreciation for the positive and encouraging heart of this wonderful person. This friend, now on the edge of her golden years, was even more affirming than I had remembered. It was like finding a treasure that you misplaced years ago and found it serendipitously with its value tremendously appreciated over time.

Harriet’s eyes sparkled and a smile broke out across her face with every pause in the conversation. As we stood in the parking lot on a beautiful, windy, spring day, her healthy silvery hair was blowing around her face like an aura of positivity. This lady had the rare ability to always affirm everyone just by the way she tilted her head and looked at them when she listened to every word they said. She always boosted your esteem with comments like, “that’s great!” And “Wow!” which made you feel like you’ve just told her the most wonderful and interesting thing ever, even when in fact it was the most mundane. She made you laugh, and she lifted your spirits with witty words and Barnabas-ish quips in response. Whenever you asked her a question, she always adeptly weaved the focus of the conversation back to the person I like to talk about the most… me! And she did it without you knowing it, until you realized later what had happened. 

The three of us reminisced about the antics and adventures of our yearly family vacations to the beach together and an unforgettable 2-week tour of the Western U.S. with 6 kids (14 and under) and 4 adults in one RV. She recalled specific memorable moments from those adventures that made us all snicker, and laugh, and sigh with fond remembrance. As we visited for just a few minutes, I realized what a precious gem this person was to those who were privileged to interact with her on the regular. She always saw any negative situation from a positive perspective and helped everyone else see it too. Her four children enjoyed the empowerment and success that came from the lifetime of accolades and affirmations of a proud mother.

After seeing this friend again, I was glad to know that nothing had changed about her except maybe that she had become even more adept at saying the most optimistic words at just the right moment. She was an expert encourager and an inspiration to all those around her. I would be thrilled to be half encourager she was.  She was a rich blessing to us all.

I think of Harriet when I read this from God’s Word: “A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.” (Proverbs 25:11 NIV) Her words were always made you feel like you had just received a great gift that both valued and validated you as a person all at the same time. 

Hang in there people! God is glad to be with us! I’m praying for us all! 

Who are you? *

A generous and gracious neighbor and friend who was (and is) an extraordinary Tennessee VOL fan, invited me to a football game to cheer on the Big Orange and stay in his family’s condo for a game in Florida. He drove us down to the Sunshine State in his father’s stretch black limousine, with a phone (long before cell phones were popular or affordable for normal people. This one had a phone cord and handset!) We had more fun in that Limo, people would slow down and look to see who was in the back, squinting to try to see through the tinted windows.  My friend and I had too much fun in the Wendy’s drive-through (He loved everything Wendy’s… Fries, a Frosty and his burger was always “Single, cheese, everything, no pickle”). I would climb into the back and put my dark glasses on day or night. We would give them two separate orders and drive around (he was a very good driver of this extra long vehicle, not bumping any curbs). Just before he would drive up to the window he would put on his chauffeur’s hat and sunglasses, roll down his window, then grab only his order and puuuullll forward slowly, roll down my window so I could grab my order, then roll it up for me while I held the bag and drink.  People would ask my friend, who he had in the back.  He would make up some famous person’s name, tell them with a straight face, then when we pulled away, we would laugh, and I’d climb back up to the front seat to eat our Wendy’s #1 meal deal.  We even got waved through by the traffic cops in football traffic to the special parking area like VIP's… It was fun pretending to be someone famous, but we knew we were just normal people in an extraordinarily long vehicle. This friend, though very blessed, is always especially humble, generous, and really cared about people.

There were many times in my life that I needed to be reminded who I really was in Christ. I was still living like a person who had never connected his life to Jesus. I acted like someone else, like the unchanged old flesh that served myself at the expense of everyone else around me.  I sometimes tried to solve my problems and pain with worldly remedies… solutions that never work in the long run.  There were times I tried to act like I was famous, fancy, or extraordinary, knowing that I was just an ordinary fallen human.  I had engaged in so much unhealthy self-talk about who I was, I forgot who I really was and Who I was really supposed to be acting like… The Good News is that God’s character never changes.  He loves us no matter what and He kept pursuing me.  He sacrifices so that we are blessed. He gives us the gift of an unending relationship with Him and doesn’t take it away even when we forget, or pretend, or act out of character with our New Self.  There will be some discipline from Him for acting badly, but He never disconnects with us, because we are His children.  Paul tells those who are connected to Jesus,  “For God's gifts and His call are irrevocable. [He never withdraws them once they are given, and He does not change His mind about those to whom He gives His grace or to whom He sends His call.]” Romans 11:29 (AMP) We gotta keep asking ourselves, “who am I?”  And be reminded that we are called by God and gifted by God and blessed by God to be a new creation… a person that loves and values God and people well, and doesn’t pretend to be better than anyone else... someone who remembers their connection to Jesus and acts like Him even when we are tired, scared, hurting, or wanting to pretend we are someone we aren’t. He makes us a person whose character doesn’t change regardless of the hat we are wearing, the sunglasses we are wearing, the car we are driving, the church we are attending, the career we are pursuing, the friends we have...

Hang in there people! God is glad to be with us! I’m praying for us all!

Ever Had A Pounding?*

 At one of my churches, I had arrived on staff with a big celebration. There was a parade with cars, firetrucks, and lights in the yard of the newly renovated parsonage. The congregation gave us a “pounding.” I was a little anxious about this. Because the only poundings I had received were in Middle School by the prevailing bullies at recess. This pounding, however, was when they brought you a pound of some staple, i.e. a pound of sugar or flour, a pound of butter, or my kids favorite, a pound of their own breakfast cereal. In spite of the wonderful welcome, the church/pastor honeymoon ended pretty quickly. I had only been at this church for a couple of weeks when two couples were embroiled in a disagreement and they weren’t making any progress on resolution; instead each family was pretty insistent on convincing me to take their side. As a new pastor there, I decided to lean in and invite them all to my office to talk through it one Sunday afternoon. I knew I needed to address this interpersonal conflagration since it had literally disrupted Bible Study that day. I also wanted to include the chairman of deacons, a wise man who could possibly speak some wisdom and peace into this situation. I prayed then called the couples and asked them to meet at my office. They agreed. Then I called the chairman of deacons who lived down the street. He said he would be there. I began to pray that the Holy Spirit would guide our meeting, that our words would be pleasing to the Lord and helpful to reconciliation. Everyone arrived at the church, but somewhere in the mile and a half drive to the church the chairman of deacons had completely lost his voice. He had literally just spoken clearly to me on the phone when he was leaving the house, but he could not talk at all when he arrived. I do not know what happened but apparently he would end up being the example of one who listened well rather than speaking into the situation. I listened and spoke with the couples and we came to some resolutions to their issues… for the moment, because apparently it was pretty deep seated conflict and would resurface again in a few months.  

When James the half-brother of Jesus was trying to help the early church remember how to treat each other now that they belonged to Jesus, he said,  “My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.” (James 1:19-20 NIV) Maybe we should all lose our voice temporarily, be more curious, and be quick to listen when there is a conflict. Jesus himself fulfilled Isaiah’s prophecy and remained silent before his accusers at his trial which would ultimately accomplish the salvation of many. He certainly could have spoken and silenced them all. 

Hang in there people! God is glad to be with us! I’m praying for us all!

At the Name of Jesus!*

                                                        Photo credit: Kalamazoo Candle Company

Years ago, in a church in Austin, God gave us the wonderful opportunity to partner with another congregation to host a Backyard Bible Club in the courtyard of an apartment complex. We wanted to reach out to and connect with some families across town to share the Gospel.  A friend and mentor of mine was the pastor of a missional church ministering with families in this community. He and I used to meet each month to talk, share some coffee, and pray with each other. It was at one of those meetings that God led us to team up together and organize a Backyard Bible Club in one of the government subsidized apartment complexes his church wanted to reach. Several of the young adults in our ministry eagerly jumped in to help. We went door to door in the apartment complex, distributed free Bibles, and invited all the kids to come outside to learn with us, play some games, and enjoy some hot dogs for lunch together. It was a great day. Grandparents sat in lawn chairs in front of their doors and watched as the kids had a day of fun and learning on a hot Texas Summer day. Then they joined us for hot dogs, chips and lemonade. At one point, Anita and I were teaching some 1st graders and things seemed to be going well. We had played a game, had some goldfish and began with to tell the children a Bible story. Then, in the middle of the story, one of the kids grabbed a beer bottle, smashed it against the curb, and began threatening the other kids and us with it with a wild look in his eyes. Everyone froze, except one.  The mother bear protector came out in Anita. She stood up and walked straight toward this broken glass wielding 1st grader pointing at the bottle and saying, “In the name of Jesus, you put down that bottle!” The next sound we heard was glass plinking on the asphalt. The kid had dropped the bottle, the wild look in his eyes had been replaced by shame at the realization what he had just done, and he began to cry. Anita hugged him, told him everything was okay, prayed with him, and sat next to him as we continued with the Bible teaching. We have no idea what that child had experienced in his life that would trigger a fear/anger/fight response so intense. We could not understand why a child would grab a glass bottle, smash the end of it, and use it as a weapon against the other neighbor kids and two adults wearing madras shorts, smiling, and holding Bibles. Something had triggered his fear, but the Good News is, something also triggered his release from that fear - The Name of Jesus! When we finally arrived home with our own kids later that evening, we hugged them, and we once again called on Jesus praising His Name because everyone had made it home alive and in one piece. We rejoiced that we all got to  experience the power of Jesus’ Name, feel the grace of His goodness, and witness His great love!

The Apostle Paul told the church he loved, that because of Jesus’ humility to come to the earth and save us, His Name would be powerful and above every name. He says, “For this reason God highly exalted him and gave him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee will bow — in heaven and on earth and under the earth — and every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.” Philippians 2:9-11 CSB What’s in a name? When we are fearful, we can call on the Name of Jesus! When we are blessed, we can praise to the Name of Jesus! His Name is powerful and wonderful...above all names!

Hang in there people! God is glad to be with us! I’m praying for us all!