Parents, Don’t be running with scissors! When I was a child, I actually heard this expression, even when I was running with safety scissors... can you believe it?! As a kid I didn’t always think things through and I could be reckless sometimes. Like when I got my first BB gun. I thought I was handling it safely like my father had taught me, but then for some reason, when I was shooting a sweet gum ball dangling from a branch, I didn’t even think to look at what was behind the round prickly target. I was so excited that I had hit my target, but instantly I heard breaking glass and a loud “OUCH”! My father had just replaced the glass in the storm door and had turned around to get his tools. My BB had broken the glass and embedded in his back. I cried myself to sleep that night knowing that I had hurt my dad and destroyed a pane of glass that had to be cleaned up and replaced again… all this after he had entrusted me with the great privilege of having my own BB gun. My parents wisely stored the BB gun until I was more mature and more aware of protecting the welfare of other people.
Part of becoming more mature is protecting other people from our own carelessness. As we mature spiritually, our words to people get more positive and encouraging and less cutting and harmful. Relationship researcher John Gottman says to grow healthy, happy relationships we need 5 intentionally positive encouraging interactions for every careless (or intentional) negative one. During difficult times it is easy to run with verbal scissors toward the negative. Crises and trauma tend to stop or slow down the maturing process and our brains ability to think through how our words may impact others. It takes some intentionality on our part to keep interacting in positive healthy ways especially when we are hurting. We not only have to protect others but we also have to be careful to protect ourselves from our own negative self-talk, I would think the Gottman 5:1 ratio still holds true. If we beat ourselves up, we usually end up beating others up too. We are made for healthy relationships… with God, other people and ourselves (Mark 12:30-31). Healthy relationships take careful, thoughtful words and actions. Let’s run with salve, ointment, Band-Aids and bandages right now, not scissors. Let’s use gentle words and encouragement, not reckless words spewed indiscriminately. When people are scared, they can say mean and hurtful words as they try to self-protect. We can respond with some gentle caring words, not sharp cutting responses. It helps to remember that our protection comes from The God who always cares for us.
Words, recklessly spoken can cut right through the fabric of a child’s little heart. The wisest man who ever lived says, “Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” Proverbs 12:18 (NIV) There are so many rash words I have spoken that I wish I could take back, just like I wished I could take that BB back as a boy. Let’s be careful to approach all those that God loves with positive, nurturing and healing words. And when we realize we are being reckless with the words we speak… put down the scissors!
Hang in there people! God is glad to be With Us! I’m praying for us all!
