Parents, We're All In This Together! Words From COVID-19 quarantine

 

Parents, “we’re all in this together!” Imagine me singing this to my family with my best Troy Bolton voice and dance moves, but with a bent over hacking cough, and groan, mid phrase. Yep! The family brought each other the gift of COVID-19 for Christmas 2020! I guess the percentages finally caught up with us. We all remained masked and socially distant from others when in public and the people we were around were diligent in trying to keep others safe too, but these measures obviously aren’t impervious to this tiny airborne virus. Somehow 6 of 8 us tested positive for the presence of this nasty present. We’re praying that the other two never get this thing, but we are assuming they have it. We are not a week into this thing, but it came as advertised… aches, fever, cough, chest tightness, headache, back pain, lethargy, and some of us lost taste! It feels like we’re running in a pool full of molasses. Makes us want to stay in bed or rest most of the time. My heart aches for those who have lost jobs, income, family, friends, health, funerals, weddings, graduations, all because of this heinous pathogen. My prayers continue for those suffering from all the effects of Coronavirus; physical, emotional, financial, etc, and especially for the healthcare workers who are exhausted from saving the lives of those who are so very sick. This is one of those world-wide re-centering events that has the attention of people all around the globe… it transcends any arbitrary boundaries we put up. In its short existence, this awful scourge has impacted so many things we hold in such high regard, like entertainment, sports, education, travel, food, celebrity, politics, hobbies, physical fitness, even church services. It forces us to evaluate what is most important. Though these other things I may have valued are either gone or far from normal, I realize that God has never abandoned me, His loving presence has never lessened. As a matter of fact He seems closer than ever. His “no matter what”, unending love seems to be more recognizably present than any other time in my life. Though I don’t always understand His silence, His mercy, love and provision continue. Even though He is allowing me to experience this illness, He still stays close and reassures me like a doting parent with a sick child. Even in death, His provision is there… He has planned for our eternity to be spent with Him and those He loves where there is no Coronavirus or sickness or dying, not even tears as we connect with Him in Jesus.

The prophet Isaiah got a reminder from God about His great love for His people regardless of the scary things that could be happening around them. He tells us even if the world seems to be falling apart, God never abandons those he loves. He says, “For the mountains may move and the hills disappear, but even then my faithful love for you will remain. My covenant of blessing will never be broken,” says the LORD, who has mercy on you.” Isaiah 54:10 (NLT2) I hope you have not had to endure this COVID thing and I pray for complete restoration for those of you who have. My greatest prayer is that while many of life’s distractions are lessened, that we will recognize God’s never ending, never abandoning love for us and realize that His relationship is more important than anything else, anywhere, anytime. My hope is that Christmas 2020 brings the blessing of strengthened faith in Christ, regardless of whatever else we bring each other.

Hang in there people! God is with us! I’m praying for us all.

Parents, How Do You Treat Weakness!** Words From COVID 19 quarantine.

Parents, how do you treat weakness, in others? Enjoy the photo. Don’t know what my Mom was thinking dressing me like this, I think it came with a permanent placard on the back with the words “kick me” with a smiley face. I wasn’t a Trekky, however I was a regular watcher of Lost In Space, the cheesy mid-1960’s SciFi TV series. It was set in the year 1997, haha! The evil Dr. Smith was the cowardly villain, who was the reason they were actually “lost in space.” Smith, the unintentional stowaway, who was trapped with the victims whose mission he had intended to destroy, was constantly trying to save his own skin at the expense and danger of the Robinson family, “the first family in space.” The Robinson family always forgave the perpetual antagonist. The son, Will Robinson, actually liked and trusted Smith, though Smith’s actions never proved worthy of anyone’s admiration or trust. Crew members, The Robot and Major Don West, never trusted Smith, but tolerated him in deference to the Robinson's grace toward him. The Robot often warned “Danger Will Robinson,” as he flailed his dryer hose arms with hooked-pincher-hands when Dr. Smith was leading him into hazardous situations. As I see it, we all have a choice, we can exploit the weaknesses of others like Dr. Smith, trying to somehow gain the upper hand, taking advantage of those around us, or we can believe the best about others, being gentle with their weakness, giving them the benefit of the doubt. I prefer a story like the Grinch, in which the good-hearted Whos of Whoville, changed the character of the oft abused and then abusive Grinch. His heart grew three sizes in one day. But Dr. Smith, unlike the Grinch, seemed to never change, always manipulating the situation to his benefit and preying upon the presumed weaknesses of his ship-wrecked colleagues. The good news is he couldn’t change the goodness of the Robinsons either, they always chose to believe Smith was doing the best he could do and chose to give grace.

Gentleness toward weakness, it’s what makes Jesus followers different from the rest of the world. The world sees weakness and exploits it, Christ and those who are connected with Him see weakness and they protect it, handle it with care and are gentle toward the ones who are weak. James, the half-brother of Jesus, reminds the early church and us, that God’s people deal with other’s weaknesses differently than other earthlings. He says, ”Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such "wisdom" does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, of the devil. For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.” James 3:13-16 (NIV) In the midst of our seemingly mounting challenges of COVID, will we succumb to fear and the “survival of the fittest” mentality preying on the weaknesses of others, taking advantage of them for our own gain as worldly “wisdom” mandates? Or will we surrender to love, see the weakness of others, have compassion for them, protect them, and give grace as Jesus does? We can be kind to those who are unkind without letting them influence us toward their "wisdom." Who knows maybe their hearts will grow three sizes in one day or at least wonder the Reason for our acting differently than the rest of the planet. You can be like Will Robinson or Dr. Smith... choose wisely.

Hang in there people! God is with us! I’m praying for us all!

Parents, It's A Snow Day 2!* Words from COVID 19 quarantine

 Parents, It’s a snow day 2. On the occasion that East Tennessee had a snow cancellations that lasted more than one day, the neighborhood kids escalated the creativity, competition, and often danger in how they enjoyed the sledding opportunities. One year I joined some friends on a new street in “the Hills” that was paved but had no houses yet. It was perfect for downhill sledding with little chance of cars coming. The fun and adventure was accelerated when the downhill runs became all out races. Friendly races became competitive races among friends, as is sometimes the case with eager-to-prove-themselves-and-fearful-of-not-fitting-in adolescent boys. I watched the first race, and laughed with nervous excitement as I saw all the competitors grapple and wrestle each other all the way down while still on their sleds. It was like the winter middle school version of Ben Hur’s chariot race (you youngsters can Google it; it was a classic before my time too), though it usually ended up in a spectacular crash and a laugh-talking rehash with color commentary about the whole race top to bottom. Occasionally there was someone who managed to make it down unchallenged, but usually only one race as they became the target of everyone the next time down with the words “get him!”. It was like Rollerball on ice (Rollerball a dystopian Sci/Fi Action film released in 1975, set in the year 2018, in which large corporations, not countries, actually ruled the world… interesting concept isn’t it?). It was like a funner more humane Hunger Games, where the winner gets bragging rights and maybe the validating attention of some neighborhood girls. As I jumped in on the next race, I was quickly tackled, coated in snow, and was unable to finish. The next few times down, I discovered that if I grabbed the back of someone’s sled and gave it a yank, gravity and centripetal forces did all the work and their sled would swerve off and hit the curb or better yet take out other competitors, and sometimes it would even flip the sled causing riders and sleds to snowball down the hill in an avalanche with attached human appendages sticking out. It was like a Law Enforcement PIT maneuver (Police Intervention Technique), when the officer uses the front of his vehicle to tap the rear side panel of the fleeing vehicle, causing them to lose control and the officer can apprehend a fleeing suspect. PAT worked to my advantage, winning a few Alpine ice war competitions, until others caught on to my game, then I was frequently the one rolling down the hill in an uncontrolled burrito spin, laughing and recounting the details of the spectacular snow spraying crash to anyone who would listen on the walk back up. Once I was flipped and the metal runner hit me, cutting my face, just below my eye leaving a patch of red snow at the scene of the incident. I applied direct pressure, as our health teacher had instructed us, with snow and a glove and began the long walk, dragging a sled back home. The intensity always seemed to escalate, but we were back together the next day, having fun. The games continued sans the snow with BB gun wars (“you’ll put your eye out”)… yeah, not the smartest of games, but we managed to escalate that too, to air rifles! Great times in the Hills of Lakemoor!

Just as the fun and competition always escalated among the boys in the hood, the emotional intensity could escalate too, and while this makes for a fun day for middle school boys and often subsides the next, it doesn’t always give us a great foundation to handle real-life conflict in a mature way that benefits the relationships around us. When I have the great privilege of counseling pre-marriage couples, we explore the best ways to handle inevitable conflict in our relationships. One of the worst ways to handle conflict is to escalate it. What begins as a simple misunderstanding, escalates to a shouting match, tossing verbal grenades at each other with increasing defensiveness and volatility, or stonewalling, just refusing to communicate at all, or patronizing criticism of our partner, or even outright contempt for the one we have connected our life with. In the long run no one wins and relationships avalanche downhill into anger and bitterness. We may win the day’s battle, but lose the relationship. James, the half brother of Jesus, reminds us that right relationships with God and others are most important even when emotions become intense. He gives us some good tools to help us stay relational and humble when things begin to escalate emotionally, “My dear brothers and sisters, understand this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger, for human anger does not accomplish God's righteousness.” James 1:19-20 (CSBBible) Often, when I feel threatened, I am quick to defend myself, quit listening, and start escalating. I become motivated by fear rather than love and begin to find ways to WIN. We are designed for relationship and when I seek to understand the person I’m in conflict with, it is an opportunity to enrich the relationship rather than destroy it. That way we both win. We seem to be living in a world driven by fear and divisiveness rather than love, forgiveness and understanding. We would all do well to be quicker to listen and understand, slower to speak, escalate, and become angry.

Hang in there people! God is with us! I’m praying for us all!

Like

Comment

Share

Parents, It's A Snow Day!* Words from COVID 19 quarantine

 Parents, it’s a snow day! As December 2020 arrives wrapped in a blanket of snow, I’m reminded of snow adventures of my youth. As a kid, I lived in Lakemoor Hills. In the summer we loved the “Lake” part of the neighborhood for fishing and the escape to the aesthetic beauty of the water that could wash over you like a warm healing anointing of peace. In the fall the "moor, (defined as "uncultivated upland" by the Oxford Dictionary) we loved the brilliant leaf colors and the crunch of leaves under our feet. In the winter, on the somewhat rare Southern-climated occasion that it snowed, it was the “Hills” part of the neighborhood that we loved. When it snowed overnight, we got up and watched the TV and listened for the magic words “school closed.” Exuberant shouts of joy went up to the heavens as we put on our long-johns, jeans, boots, coat, gloves and hats ready for a day of sledding and building snow people. My sister, the artist, once sculpted Mt. Rushmore at the foot of our long sloping yard. She rolled 4 giant snowballs from the top and then made Washington, Lincoln, Roosevelt, and Jefferson for the neighbors to enjoy. I was always ready to find the best sledding hill where all the kids were. Because Lakemoor Hills had lots of trees, the best sledding was on the roads and because we were in the South and there were no snow plows. Most people just stayed home, leaving the streets open for early adolescent sledding chaos. One street called Timberlake Drive was a great sloping curvy hill, but it was a little narrow for kids sledding down and walking back up for the next long ride back down. My sister happened to be finished with whatever snow sculpture she was doing that day and was ready to join the sledding fun. The challenge was we only had two sleds, my dad’s boyhood, old faithful, an old fashioned, wooden, metal railed, steerable sled, and the other a round disc (think Chevy Chase in Christmas Vacation). For a ride downhill on a curvy road, only a steerable sled would do. We tried towing the round disc behind the steerable, but it never worked. So, we both sat on the steerable sled and headed down the hill. As we picked up speed and began navigating the blind curve, steering the sled with my feet, we rounded the turn to see a classmate trying to protect everyone by standing in the middle of the road, waving his arms wildly, yelling, “a Jeep is coming up the hill.” The problem was there were only three options for the dozen or so kids flying down the hill like Susie Chapstick in the Olympic Giant Slalom: 1. Stay on the road and hit the classmate and possibly hit the uphill bound Jeep head on, 2. go left and fly off the side of the road and down a steep ravine including unavoidable impact with one of the many trees, or 3. crash into the car, abandoned because of the treacherously slick conditions on the right side in the ditch, against the embankment. Because of where we were in the pack of snow crazed sled riders, our choice was made for us… crash into the ditched car! The bumper hit me at about 20 MPH, right in the chest, our legs and the sled continued their downhill trajectory and we were wedged like a doorstop under the Olds 98. Other kids were flying off the side of the embankment grabbing trees, letting sleds crash below, and my classmate was dodging everyone he could, but finally, he was taken out at the shins by a shiny new Radio Flyer and a wide eyed, tobogganed, tobogganer! Fortunately, no one was hit by the Jeep... My sister and I struggled to free ourselves like two grease monkeys on a creeper (the little wheeled sled that is intended to take mechanics under a car) squeezed under the heavy metal of the late 1960’s era muscle sedan like mice in a trap, which would have been worse had the sled not impacted the tire and prevented us from being stuck further under the overpowered Sunday cruiser. We managed to get down the hill to a wonderful neighbor at the bottom. She was the snow Mom in the ‘hood who always took care of our gang on snow days. She would fix something Hot Chocolate and Cider, have enough snacks to fill up several snow-hungry preteens, have a fire going and she would put jackets, jeans, socks and gloves into the dryer until all of us were rewarmed. Before long, the long-john clad, snow warriors were ready to suit up and go out again for more snow adventures.

There was always a brief moment in the morning, before the excited snow crunching steps and much anticipated snowplay, that I would walk out the door, take a deep breath and admire the beauty, peace, quietness, and purity of the fresh blanket of snow. It was not yet marred by our footprints or sled tracks and it covered over the dead winter grass and muddy imperfections of the ground… everything seemed to be okay amidst the angst filled days of tweenagedom. When King David had muddied his life by gazing himself into adultery with Bathsheba and stained himself with blood by murdering her husband Uriah, God sent Nathan to confront his hypocrisy and remind him his actions weren't those of... "a man after God’s own heart. David, in his remorse and repentance, returns to God saying, ”Surely you desire integrity in the inner self, and you teach me wisdom deep within. Purify me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow. Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones you have crushed rejoice. Turn your face away from my sins and blot out all my guilt. God, create a clean heart for me and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not banish me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore the joy of your salvation to me, and sustain me by giving me a willing spirit. Then I will teach the rebellious your ways, and sinners will return to you.” Psalm 51:6-13 (CSBBible) David tells us that the fresh unscarred, undirtied snow can be a reminder of God’s restoration and reconnection when we confess our shortcomings, sins, and backsliding ways. We are assured that God always disciplines the errant children He loves (see Hebrews 12:6) to turn us back to Himself, but He can also restore and heal the other broken relationships that are always the victims of our disconnection with God and His pure ways. God is always glad to be with us, but His boundaries keep us in right relationship with Him and keep us from disastrous collisions from destructive choices. When we see fresh snow, we can rest in the promise of the restored joy of our salvation as we are washed by God’s Word.

Hang in there people! God is with us! I’m praying for us all!