In my early tween-aged years I learned to whittle. True whittlers can make such thin slices of wood they curl up. Their knives are so sharp they can hold them loosely and still cut through wood like butter. I was fascinated by their skills. Though a sharp knife seems dangerous, a dull one is even more so. My father, who provided my first pocket knife, also got me a sharpening stone. I was so excited about the knife, I whittled and whittled, but sharpening was not quite as exciting, so I didn’t shapen very often. On one of my father’s hunting trips, he found a small tree uprooted for some reason, so he put it in the Jeep Wagoneer, thinking it may be good for making a walking cane for someone. He cut it the right length for an average adult and asked me to whittle it smooth. The handle was formed by the root. I was elated to carve that small tree. The shape already looked right, it just needed some whittling and sanding. One day when I was carving, I hit a knot and the knife stopped. The knot was in a critical spot so the walking cane could be gripped right. Instead of sharpening my knife and trying again, I chose to try and force it through the extra tough wood. The knot was also in an awkward spot, so the rule of “never put anything in front of your knife that you don’t want to be cut,” was one that I chose to ignore. I became impatient and held the wood in front of the knife exposing the tips of my fingers. Yep, it happened, I sliced off the very end of my ring finger and blood was going everywhere. I grabbed a rag and put pressure on it and ran to show my parents. My father, who was a physician, took a look at it and determined that because of the way I sliced it, that it could not be sutured. It would just have to heal over the raw flesh. I was in whittling “time-out” until my finger healed. I still have that smooth straight cane that was finally completed and my finger eventually healed up so you can’t see the scar all these years later, but there were life lessons of patience, diligence and skill development that I wish I could say I learned that day. Unfortunately, those character traits require some maturity that doesn’t come easily.
The words of the wisest man who ever lived help us remember, “If the ax is dull and its edge unsharpened, more strength is needed, but skill will bring success.” (Ecclesiastes 10:10) King Solomon, in his book called the “Preacher,” reminds us of the importance of taking the time to sharpen our skills when we take on a task. I would say this is especially true in the challenge of nurturing healthy relationships. Difficult conversations can easily become harmful by word choices, tone of voice, and the force of will to just “power through it.” By valuing the personal relationships more than desiring just to win the conflict, we can take care to prevent personal injury and avoid putting that person in the dangerous path of our unhoned conflict resolution skills. Another of Solomon’s proverbs reminds us, “The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.”(Proverbs 12:18) Oh how often I need this reminder!
Hang in there people! God is glad to be with us! I’m praying for us all!
