Parents, Am I an EGR? Words From COVID 19 quarantine*

 Parents, Am I an EGR? At some point in my rebellion, one of the pastor’s from my home church decided to reach out to me and another friend. We were both a part of a youth group a few years before that “had so much potential,” according to another pastor at the church. My pastor friend was wise and full of grace. He loved us and wanted to see us turn the corner and come back to live the faith we had strongly professed a few years before but were running so far away from at the time. He was taking a group of college students on a ski trip in the North Carolina mountains and asked us to be “ski instructors,” since we had both been skiers for several years and many of the students had never skied before. He told us he would have us a place to stay and buy our lift tickets if we would give some ski lessons in the morning and ski on our own afterward. My friend and I decided we would drive to the mountain ourselves rather than riding with the others. We arrived at the cabin and dropped our bags in our room and told them we were going to get dinner, since they had already eaten. They were going to have a Bible Study and invited us to join them when we got back. My friend and I were not thrilled about that idea. We weren’t opposed to Bible Study per se, it just wasn’t a priority for us at the time (or TBH, we may have been afraid of feeling convicted of our rebelliousness by the Word of Truth). So, we went to dinner… at a bar and grill. We stayed until we thought the Bible Study was over and went back to the cabin filled with the “spirits” and not The Spirit. It was almost midnight. We thought everyone would be in bed and we would just quietly walk straight to our room undetected. To our surprise, the lights were still on, so we snuck into the front door and discovered they were all engaged in prayer… for US! We tried to keep sneaking past them to our room. We stumbled right through the middle of them as they were making intercessions eyes closed, heads down, on our behalf. Rebellion, however, held us fast, we refused to join them, and we quickly went to our room without acknowledging anyone. The next morning we arose to an empty cabin and screaming headaches. The group had gone on to the slopes, since we had overslept. We finally made it to the slopes and made a half hearted effort to find our ski students. We decided our lift tickets shouldn’t go to waste, so we proceeded to ski on the advanced slopes and continue to ‘look” for the beginner skiers there. At the end of the day we hopped in the car and left, without a word. As I look back on this, I’m so ashamed, not just of my rebellious behavior, but the relationships I had injured or missed out on. My pastor, full of love and grace, was quick to forgive and continued to pursue a friendship with me. He would later be one of the officiants at my wedding. He had so much grace for an EGR = Extra Grace Required i.e. a person who needs lots of grace. God seems to surround me with those people for some reason: spouse, mentors, co-workers… the list goes on. I’m grateful for them all.

The apostle Peter had learned from Jesus that relationships are the most important thing in life, that includes relationships with EGRs. Peter once thought he was being magnanimous with his grace if he forgave someone 7 times, Jesus said start with 70 times 7 and we’ll talk (Matt. 18:21). He was reminding God’s people that continual love gives us enough grace for everyone, even enough for EGRs. Peter says, “The end of all things is near; therefore, be alert and sober-minded for prayer. Above all, maintain constant love for one another, since love covers a multitude of sins.” 1 Peter 4:7-8 (CSBBible) My pastor knew that usually rebellion comes from some hurt in our past, that we are trying to numb, forget, or ignore. His continual love and prayers for us, showed us that he and God really cared and he wasn’t giving up on us. We gotta remember the EGRs are usually hurting and they need lots of love and grace, enough to cover a multitude of sins. When we can love those who treat us badly, we are beginning to get a glimpse of the “sin covering” kind of love Peter is telling us about.

Hang in there people. God is with us. I’m praying for us all.