Parents, Be a Protector in the COVID19 Marathon: Words from COVID 19 quarantine

Parents, POTUS just announced another month of social distancing. As this long sprint turns into a marathon, there will be a strong temptation to choose what is easy over what is right. It will be more difficult to remember that healthy relationships are God’s priority. It will be harder to share our hoarded toilet paper with those in need! The longer this thing stretches out and the worse the economic situation gets, it will be easier to become more like a predator, using our strengths to take advantage of the weaknesses of others for our benefit rather than using our strengths to be a protector who cares for the interests of those who are weaker (credit Jim Wilder). Our kids will be watching what we do with our strength… whether we protect or prey on the weaknesses of others. Our progeny will learn from us and do the same. The Apostle Paul reminded some of his favorite people to act like Jesus, who is the ultimate protector. In Philippians 2:3-4 he says, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility consider others as more important than yourselves. Everyone should look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.” (CSBBible) On the other side of this dilemma, if you are someone who tends to exhaust yourself on behalf of others, remember that you have to take care of yourself, physically, spiritually, emotionally, so that you have enough strength to continue to protect and take care of those who are weaker. So, how do we do this in this COVID 19 marathon of uncertainty? Paul tells us, “I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.” Philippians 4:12-13 (NIV)

Parents, Attach and Develop Character: Words from COVID 19 quarantine

For those parents stuck at home... brain research tells us that real character change/development happens much more because of who we are lovingly attached to than any knowledge we can learn... so during this family together time: attach, love and learn well... grow good happy kids ready to emerge and make a difference in their world when this thing is over.

Parents, Glad to Be With Each Other: Words from COVID 19 quarantine

Parents at home teaching your kids… research tells us that learners learn best when they are full of joy. We experience joy, when the people we are with are “glad to be with” us (credit Jim Wilder). During this potentially long period of shelter in place, we can sometimes forget that we are “glad to be with” each other. HaHa! That is a good time to reconnect with God who is always “glad to be with” us, so much so that He actually came to be with us in Emmanuel, i.e. God with us!, Jesus. He even sent the Holy Spirit to be IN us so He can be WITH us all the time. When you are reconnected with God and refilled with joy, you can again be “glad to be with” those you are with. Your kids will remember this time when everything shut down and they had to stay home because of a virus, you can make it a joyful memory in spite of the circumstances. See John 3:16 and John 14:26 as reminders of how God wants to be with us.

Parents, Tantrums and Peace: Words from COVID 19 quarantine

Parents at home with your children, with the new stresses of changed routines, news that is scary and hard to understand, and them perceiving your elevated stress levels, it can be easy for them to meltdown into a full tantrum. A few days ago, I saw an adult stuck in the traffic at Costco honking the horn and revving the engine in tantrum mode trying to park and find today's golden commodity, toilet paper! Brain science tells us that in a tantrum, the instinctual part of the brain goes into panic mode and chemicals shut down the other parts of the brain that enable them to calm down and remember who they are, how they act, and how they treat other people. At that point, everything feels like a threat and everyone seems like an enemy. So, If we react to our children from the same instinctual part of the brain, then there are no adult brains engaged in the process of coming out of this tailspin of negative emotions. The tantrums escalate and no one wins. When we belong to Christ, He gives us an amazing gift. A gift that reminds us who we are, how we act and how we treat other people. The gift comes simply because we belong to Him and it helps us act like Him and treat people like He does regardless of the circumstances. Before the chaos of Jesus' trials and crucifixion, he tells his disciples in John 14:27 (CSBBible) "Peace I leave with you. My peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Don't let your heart be troubled or fearful.” What our children need is our gentle peaceful words and a hug when they have calmed down enough to receive one (this produces oxytocin and helps change the chemicals in the brain to get out of panic mode). We need to make sure that we are operating out of the right prefrontal cortex of our brain, the part that has to do with our true identity, who we are, Who we belong to (Jesus), and how we act. So, when the tantrums come, resist the urge to react, remember Who you belong to, remember the extraordinary gift that Jesus gives us for times just like these, and help train your child’s brain to do the same.

Parents, Laying Hands On Your Children: Words from COVID 19 quarantine

Parents at home with your children… You are doing very important work... Mark 10:13-16 tells us; “People were bringing little children to him in order that he might touch them, but the disciples rebuked them. 14 When Jesus saw it, he was indignant and said to them, ‘Let the little children come to me. Don't stop them, because the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. 15 Truly I tell you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.’ 16 After taking them in his arms, he laid his hands on them and blessed them.” (CSBBible)

After a hard day of being home together, you may be ready to “lay hands on” your children, but not the same way Jesus laid his hands on them. I know there were some days when Anita Grossmann McGinnis was away from home and I was home alone with my four little blessings, I was ready to lay hold of them (they were really pretty good kids most of the time, but after many hours together and no breaks we could all get ill with each other). One time she returned from a weekend women’s retreat. I had kept them by myself, but not very well. When she walked in the door I was unable to “use my words,” I handed her a diaper and the smallest one, jumped on my bike and rode for about an hour before returning. I had about all the blessings I could stand. Kudos to her, she used to keep them for days on end without complaining (our kids turned out to be pretty good adults because of Jesus and their mother).

You parents are my heroes, spending all these days alone with your kids! I see Facebook posts of you reading together, singing together, eating together, playing together… I see your joy to be with each other. Like Jesus, I see you taking them in your arms and blessing them. Kudos!

Should you encounter a long day of “shelter in place”, remember that like the marble that I swallowed as a child,” this too shall pass.” When you are ready to have a “come to Jesus” meeting… remember how much He loves us all, holds us in his arms, lays hands on us and blesses us. I’m praying for you all.

Parents, Relationship, Relationship, Relationship: Words from COVID 19 quarantine

Parents, Deuteronomy 6:5-7 tells us, “Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you go along the road…” (NIV) Right now you may be doing a lot of “sitting at home,” but hang in there, soon we will all again have the chance to impress these commandments on our kids as we “go along the road.”

With this command, God shows us that the most important thing in life is…Relationship, Relationship, Relationship… When Jesus is asked, “what is the greatest commandment?,” He includes the second most important relationship,” loving others as ourselves” (Mark 12:29-31). Our goal is not to raise perfect, successful kids who are happy all the time, but relationally healthy kids who love God, others, and themselves well. Love is the force that will change the world for good. The world has given us a scorecard for our kids that, in the end, doesn’t win them anything of real and lasting value. Jesus gives us God’s scorecard… He says in Matthew 6:33, if we will seek God’s Kingdom first by living in right relationship with Him and other people, He will give us all the good things we need.

Praying for you all!

Parents, Whirled Peas: Words from COVID 19 quarantine

Parents, your World Peace may look more like whirled peas in your home right now. Thank you for loving your children well during this time that can feel so uncertain. Bringing peace in a troubled time is a Divine gift. Jesus says in John 16:33, "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." (NIV) As you weather this storm, remember Jesus is in the boat with you, so, hang out with Him, listen to Him, read His Word, talk to Him, sing to Him, draw pictures of Him with your family, celebrate when you see Him at work in the world. Your kids will be watching you, they will take your cues and look to Jesus for peace as well. You will build strong foundations in them (and yourself) that won’t spin out of control when everything in the world seems to be whirling. Draw your chicks close under your wings and give them peace. I’m praying for you all!

Parents Jesus Take the Wheel: Words from COVID 19 Quarantine

Parents, there will be “Jesus, Take The Wheel” moments before this “stay at home” time is over, but that is also the best advice we can get (thank you for the reminder Carrie Underwood!). Jesus says John 16:33, “IN ME you may have peace.” Like a “check engine” light on your dashboard, your level of stress and that of your kids can be an indicator of how “IN Him” you are… the less “IN Him” you all are, the more stress and less peace will be revealed in how you treat each other. The more “IN Him” you all are, the more peace, love and joy you will see in your relationships. If you sense stress, take some time out together to reconnect “IN” Jesus and return to love, joy, and peace with each other. Keep on giving lots of hugs, taking care of each other and speaking encouraging peace giving words.