When my oldest daughter was a preschooler, she was curious about her dad painting a wall in the den with a paint roller. Anita was taking care of one of the other 3 preschoolers in another part of the house at the moment and I had just loaded my roller with paint from the roller pan on the floor. I climbed the step-ladder to make the “W” motion, just like the paint store expert told me. I was using a roller on a pole to reach the high part of the vaulted ceiling. I could see out of the corner of my eye that MA had come through the door and I could hear her stepping on the plastic drop cloth. Just as I looked down, I yelled, “NO!”, but it was too late she had just stepped right in the middle of the roller pan. My shout startled her so much she turned and ran across the room in a frightened toddler scamper, making a footprint of paint with every other step across the carpet (did I mention this was a rental house). I quickly climbed down the ladder, shouting “STOP, STOP!” Which startled her even more and she continued to run, extending the paint trail of tiny footprints across the room. I finally was able to put the roller down in the pan, catch her, and remove the paint covered shoe and start trying to get the paint off the carpet. In my parenting ignorance, I had resorted to probably the least effective method of trying to solve this issue… raising my voice. I had momentarily forgotten that toddling, inquisitive, baby humans are much more important than carpet or paint or anything else. I didn’t have a lot of calming, peace bringing tools in my parenting crisis toolbox at the time, only the one I had grown up with… effusiveness. This ability may have been something good for collegiate cheerleader to have, but it was not always the best parenting technique. If all you have in your toolbox is a hammer, everything looks like a nail. If all you have is effusiveness, every problem should be solved by yelling louder, RIGHT? Though this tactic seldom worked, I had trouble seeing that I needed some more effective tools in my tool box for when the train was about to run off the rails or when it was already a full blown train wreck. I also didn’t realize how many of my decisions were made from fear: fear of messing up, fear of being inadequate, fear of lack, fear of being a bad dad or husband, fear of so many things… In my anxiety, my tool box could not expand or add more tools. The positive tools that I needed could only come if I operated in joy and love, rather than fear.
We operate in fear when we don’t trust that God loves us, cares for us, is glad to be with us and works all things together for our good. These fears come from a religion based on anger and retribution, rather than a relationship of love, joy, and care. Not that God is not capable of anger and retribution (because His righteousness and honor sometimes require it) but the fact that He loves us enough to send His Son to save us, shows His great love for us. Though He always requires our reverence and respect, He is first about rescue, rather than condemnation. John, the beloved disciple, quotes Jesus saying, “For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.”(John 3:17) God is about making everything new and alright. One of Texas’ favorite sons, Matthew McConaughey says it three times, “Alright, Alright, Alright!” Our assumptions about life need to come first from the fact that God loves us tremendously and He is making everything “Alright” between us and Him.
Hang in there people! God is glad to be with us! I’m praying for us all!
