At one of my churches, I had arrived on staff with a big celebration. There was a parade with cars, firetrucks, and lights in the yard of the newly renovated parsonage. The congregation gave us a “pounding.” I was a little anxious about this. Because the only poundings I had received were in Middle School by the prevailing bullies at recess. This pounding however, was when they brought you a pound of some staple, i.e. a pound of sugar or flour, a pound of butter, or my kids favorite, a pound of their own breakfast cereal. In spite of the wonderful welcome, the church/pastor honeymoon ended pretty quickly. I had only been at this church for a couple of weeks when two couples were embroiled in a disagreement and they weren’t making any progress on resolution; instead each family was pretty insistent on convincing me to take their side. As a new pastor there, I decided to lean in and invite them all to my office to talk through it one Sunday afternoon. I knew I needed to address this interpersonal conflagration since it had literally disrupted Bible Study that day. I also wanted to include the chairman of deacons, a wise man who could possibly speak some wisdom and peace into this situation. I prayed then called the couples and asked them to meet at my office. They agreed. Then I called the chairman of deacons who lived down the street. He said he would be there. I began to pray that the Holy Spirit would guide our meeting, that our words would be pleasing to the Lord and helpful to reconciliation. Everyone arrived at the church, but somewhere in the mile and a half drive to the church the chairman of deacons had completely lost his voice. He had literally just spoken clearly to me on the phone when he was leaving the house, but he could not talk at all when he arrived. I do not know what happened but apparently he would end up being the example of one who listened well rather than speaking into the situation. I listened and spoke with the couples and we came to some resolutions to their issues… for the moment, because apparently it was a pretty deep seated and painful conflict and would resurface again in a few months.
When James the half brother of Jesus was trying to help the early church remember how to treat each other now that they belonged to Jesus, he said, “My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.” (James 1:19-20 NIV) Maybe we should all lose our voice temporarily, be more curious, and be quick to listen when there is a conflict. Jesus himself fulfilled Isaiah’s prophecy and remained silent before his accusers at his trial which would ultimately accomplish the salvation of many. He certainly could have spoken and silenced them all.
Hang in there people! God is glad to be with us! I’m praying for us all!
