We Mayor or may not have tried to borrow a McDonaldland playground character. In college, in my rebellion years, a group of friends and I decided we would give Mayor McCheese a new temporary home until his newly redesigned playground was completed at the Mickey Dee’s near campus. He was obviously bored in the parking lot while he waited for his playground to be rebuilt. So, a plan was hatched to relieve his ennui while his place at McCityhall was revamped. A friend, who happened to be a PK (Preacher’s Kid), was driving his dad’s car that night. We grabbed an old quilt and threw it on top of the shiny two door caprice classic that had a like new wax job, so it was slick as glass. The four of us carefully lifted the most McHonorable sir to the roof. He obviously liked the idea, he was smiling… kind of. When I asked about tie down straps, we had obviously not thought this thing through. One said, “you guys just hang out the window on each side and hold it, just like those people do with mattresses.” So, silly us, we did. We had made it out of the parking lot and turned onto the road with a giant downhill beside campus. About one third of the way down the hill, police lights and sirens came on. My PK friend, the driver, panicked for a moment and accelerated. With the increasing speed, the newly emancipated Mayor began to slide on the “hard shell finish” of the recently Turtle Waxed roof and was about to be ousted from his motorcade. I and my passenger side human-tie-down-strap began to be pulled out our windows by the less than aerodynamic, bulged eyed, top hatted, metallic beef, bun and cheese head. The metal bolts that would normally hold his Honor in place on the ground had found their way off the quilt and onto the paint job of the pastor’s car, leaving squiggled gashes of exposed metal on the top as we attempted to keep the McCityofficial from flying off onto the campus police cruiser quickly approaching behind us. Our driver finally came to his senses, deciding that we couldn’t outrun the police, especially with our statue on top and so he found a safe place beside the road to pull over. We climbed out of our windows expecting the worst. We were all “getting our story straight” in our minds… that we were only “borrowing” it to put behind our campus apartment for a few days. I was already rehearsing what I would say to my parents, who would have to drive 3 hours to come get me out of jail. The campus police officer climbed out of his cruiser and couldn’t talk because he was laughing so hard… saying something about the look on Mr. McCheese’s face as we sped down that hill. He walked up and laugh-slapped one of my friends on the shoulder so hard he almost fell into the ditch with the words, “you boys!” We didn’t know if this was a good sign or not. He had called the other campus police to come see what “these knuckleheads” had done. Fortunately, the PK knew this particular officer and shared that we were just bored and planned to bring this impeached McPublic official back in a day or two. The officer who continued to chuckle as he talked, said, “you boys take him right back up there now, and everybody can go back to campus…and y’all find something else to do with your time tonight.” He went back to his car chuckling and shaking his head. So, we took our McDonaldland friend back to his boring spot in the parking lot. My friend had “some ‘splainin’' to do to his dad about those four divots in his roof, but we were all relieved to sleep in our own beds rather than being in the lockup for kidnapping the Mayor. We noticed our next time through the drive thru that Mayor McCheese, Ronald, the Hamburgler, and Officer Big Mac were all incarcerated, securely chained and padlocked with a temporary fence around them until the playground was completed. But Mayor McCheese never felt so liberated as that night he took a ride on the wildside. Thankfully this was back before security cameras and cell phone cameras, so there is no record of these misguided shenanigans, and I would probably deny they ever happened.
Encouraging words, lighthearted rants, and devoted thoughts about Life, Faith, Friends, and Family!
Tuesday, August 30, 2022
We Mayor or May Not Have Tried to Borrow a McDonaldland Playground Character.*
Thursday, August 18, 2022
Go Ahead And Jump! *
On a recent trip back to my hometown of Knoxville, my mind returned to the day a highschool friend said,'' let's go cliff jumping.” We hopped in my ‘67 convertible Mustang and he gave directions as we wound around country roads to the jumping place. As I walked toward the edge and looked over, I was filled with simultaneous fear and exhilaration. The fear came from both the height and a traumatic experience in a diving class as a child, in which I did a painful back flop. Finally, it was time to take the leap. I had watched the old movies of people who were escaping their enemies jumping with reckless abandon from a cliff into a river in order to survive. But there were no enemies here, just the opportunity to experience an instant of Earth’s gravity’s tremendous 9.8 meters per second squared accelerational pull on my body until hitting water. Hitting water at that speed feels like concrete on impact if you hit flat footed, which, by the way, I did on the first jump. However, something in me wanted to do it again. So I did, but made sure I pointed my toes on entry! Twice more from 40 feet up! The adrenaline rush was addicting. Then we rode home, wet hair drying quickly in the summer heat, in my top down mustang, still tingling all over from the experience. I would like to say that was the last time I jumped from a high place into water, but it wasn’t. In spite of my father’s warnings I did not turn down other opportunities to feel the whoosh of air from the exhilarating speed and the sudden splash into the water. As a physician who had seen the unfortunate accidents that can occur, my father continued to warn me. As a boy, when I would do something silly because “everyone else was doing it,” my mother used to ask, “if everyone jumps off a bridge, are you going to do it too?” I guess the answer was “yes,” because in college, my cheerleader friends asked me to go jump off the Keowee Toxaway Bridge in South Carolina. So, I did. It was just as exhilarating.
Saturday, July 9, 2022
Words Flying Like Projectiles *
I spent part of my early teen years in Boy Scouts, camping, canoeing, scout meetings, tying knots, trying to learn the Scout law and oath… all the fun stuff. I wasn’t very good at getting merit badges. Our troop, on the whole, at that time, was not one that produced a lot of Eagle Scouts, but we sure had fun… It was as if we said, “we don’t need no stinkin’ badges,” we just want to do what’s fun. (Kudos to all those who are diligent and dedicated enough to earn the honor of Eagle Scout) One particular campout, we of course hadn’t slept, we just played in the fire all night. The next day on the drive home, the troop stopped at a park to have lunch. There happened to be a large creek running through the park. So, after lunch we were all playing in the creek… it wasn’t long before someone threw a rock in and splashed water on another scout. AND then it was on! Rocks were flying into the water splashing the scouts on each side… teams were arbitrarily selected by whatever side of the creek you were on. This thing escalated quickly from harmless fun to an all out splash war. Sleep deprived teenaged boys first excitedly, then angrily retaliating, throwing harder and harder, grabbing bigger and bigger rocks. It was an all out frenetic fracus! Arm launched river rock projectiles were flying wildly everywhere! Adult leaders were trying to get a hold of the out of control donnybrook after they had initially passed it off as harmless fun. My friend bent down to grab another rock in front of me. I was focused on the scout target on the other side of the creek and the exact spot to throw the stone to splash him, so I didn’t notice where my friend was. Just as I released the rock, he stood up from grabbing his rock and WHAM, it hit him in the back of the head. It really hurt him. I felt really bad. (I was also a little scared, I had heard the whole David and Goliath thing, I hoped I hadn’t killed him.) All the way home, he was hurting. Even worse, though he was exhausted, he couldn’t go to sleep, because the adult leaders didn’t want him to go to sleep with a concussion. He was angry too, he thought I had intentionally hit him with the rock. I felt bad enough that it was my rock in “the mountain creek melee” that had hit him, but I felt even worse that he thought I had hit him on purpose. His head and our friendship was injured.
I have noticed in my own relationships that when fun, teasing words escalate into a full-fledged squabble, words can really do damage to healthy connection. I learned from a counselor friend that nothing good comes when word wars escalate verbally. All helpful communication ends when we go into fight, flight or freeze mode. Our brain chemicals shut down the thinking part of the brain and we become focused solely on winning. It becomes about instinctual survival of the fittest, which, by the way, leads to nothing good in relationships. Only hurt feelings, misunderstandings and destruction of connection happens.
A seminary professor once told our class that words in early Hebrew society were like projectiles. Blessings that were said to you were received like blessed oil poured on your head running down to cover you. But curses, if they landed on you stuck like glue and did you harm. He said people would physically try to dodge the curse words hurled at them from a rival, because the words had power to hurt you. I still remember him quickly dropping to the floor to make the point, as if the curse was like a dodgeball covered in flypaper and he was dodging that curse by getting out of its path and letting the words fly above him, missing their target.
In Luke’s Gospel, Jesus wants his followers to know that conflict escalation is antithetical to His Way. He tells us to respond with blessings to those who throw curses at us. He says, ““But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also. If someone takes your cloak, do not stop him from taking your tunic. Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. Do to others as you would have them do to you.
“If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even ‘sinners’ love those who love them. And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even ‘sinners’ do that. And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even ‘sinners’ lend to ‘sinners,’ expecting to be repaid in full. But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.” (Luke 6:27–36 NIV) Wow! … “children of the Most High.” We’re most like Jesus when we return blessing for cursing, rather than what comes natural to us - picking up the next bigger verbal rock and throwing it harder. How many relationships could I have protected, even nurtured, if I had not escalated a conflict with increasingly hurtful words?
Hang in there people! God is glad to be with us! I’m praying for us all!
Monday, June 20, 2022
Pixie Sticks and Schadenfreude!*
Hot Summer days spent by the pool with 50 other kids in embarrassingly small swimsuits… miles of Pixie Stix consumed six inches at a time from a paper straw, unless you had the supreme sugar rush inducing 21 inch Giant Pixie Stick from a plastic tube, or the cheapskate version of sweetened Koolade powder eaten right from the sleeve… giant dill pickles from a giant pickle jar… sunburn, sunscreen, and near sun stroke… semi-soaked, then sun dried towels that smelled of chlorine, sweat, pickle juice, and Pixie Stix… hair bleached by the Sun with a tint of green from the pool chemicals… the excitement of cheering on a team member in a close race, the thrill of victory and agony of defeat… of course, I’m describing Summer Swim Team. For many Summers of elementary school and pre-teen years my sister and I swam with neighborhood friends for the University of Tennessee Faculty Club, The Senator's Club, and for the Fountain City Lions Club swim teams. Every morning we headed to the pool to practice, grow stronger, and learn more about fast starts, flip turns and best ways to breath between strokes…if we were listening. Our parents worked the ribbon tables, stopwatches, and served as water-cat herders to get kids to the blocks for their events. They tirelessly spent hours and hours at the pool for practice and meets to watch us swim events that were typically less than 1 minute long. Many of us were mediocre athletes, but it kept us active, gave us a group to belong to, and friends to cheer on. I still have glad memories of time spent with friends around the pool. Swim is one of those team sports that is mostly competed individually, but scored as a team. We had to figure out how to compete against a clock, to get a faster time than our last swim, rather than considering others that we raced against as our “enemy.” Schadenfreude can come easy when we are competing… we may be glad when someone else has a bad race, so that we do better. We may even begin to hope for someone else to have a bad race so we can defeat them, and blue ribbons can become more important than good friendships.
Monday, June 13, 2022
Does It Have Any Value?*
When my kids were young, we tried to have a family adventure each week, like trips to a local attraction, the YMCA pool, fishing in the pond, or a family bike ride. We had our plates full: Anita had 4 preschoolers all day and I had the shepherding responsibilities of a mostly aging flock: 3 sermons a week, hospital visits several times a week, and a funeral or two every month. We had finally bought, collected and repaired enough bikes, and bike-baby seats for all 6 of us to ride on the Shelby Bottoms trails in East Nashville, including one bike that we had to recover from the creek after being stolen off the back porch of the parsonage. (East Nashville has since returned to its former glory, but at the time in the early 2000’s, it was still kind of the “hood,” with gang activity, a 90% high school dropout rate, and nefarious characters sometimes roaming the streets at night. When I first arrived as pastor, I wondered why there were bars on the parsonage windows, then a young man in the church told me my family needed to be aware of our surroundings, he had been shot in the church parking lot a few years before). After an hour of pumping tires and tightening chains, sliding handles back on handlebars, I was ready to load all the bikes on the bike hitch and put the bike trailer that would carry our picnic basket and cooler into the Minivan. Anita piled the helmets and kids inside, buckled car seats and we were ready to go. Once at the parking lot, which was less than a mile from the parsonage (there were no sidewalks to ride from the house), we were quite the spectacle apparently. People stared as the kids seemed to keep piling out of the van like a VW Bug stuffed with clowns at the circus. We sunscreened, sunglassed, and helmeted all the kids, put two on bikes and two in bike-baby seats, attached the trailer to my bike with our picnic basket inside and we were ready to roll. Our son, the oldest child, was eager to go fast and explore, so we had to signal for him to come back closer to us with a loud curled-lip-whistle when he was about to get out of sight, which, to this day he recalls, was frustrating to his budding adventurous spirit. He did seem to understand we needed to stick together as a family and not everyone could pedal as fast as him. We finally made it to our picnic spot with a picnic table, swingsets and monkey bars. The kids ate their pb and j’s and deli sandwiches, whale-crackers (which were the cheaper, Aldi knock-off version of GoldFish), sliced apples, cheese sticks, sectioned oranges and juice boxes. Then they played for a while. The youngest seemed to be enthralled with the idea that there was a cinder block bathroom painted white, right in the middle of the park with one side for boys and the other for girls. We knew that we had to save some energy for the ride back, so after several minutes it was time to head back. With only a couple of minor injuries, tears, and tantrums (a few of them being my own) we made it back to the van. We were covered in a thin layer of the mud cake that forms with the mixture of sunscreen, sweat, and Nashville pollution, which consisted of traffic grime, wind blown Steiner Lift scrap-metal yard, rust-dust, glitter particles, and then add some playground dirt. This mixture is then dried onto our skin in the bike breeze like a janky mud beauty treatment. We reloaded everything for the short van ride back, and in spite of the short ride, our youngest was asleep (my daughter-in-law now calls this “carcolepsy,” like narcolepsy, but involves falling asleep anytime you ride in a car). We get them home, splash and wipe them down with a washcloth, which, by the wipedown of the fourth child looks like it was washed in a mud puddle. Even after the cloth is rinsed and wrung out, the last kid’s dirt just gets smeared around a little and it makes them look like they just got a bad spray tan on their lily white Euro descended skin. Exhausted, we put them down for a nap and offload the bikes and gear, clean out the van, cooler and picnic basket. Then we take a short nap, wake up and order pizza for dinner. Sometimes I wondered did this have any value? Was it worth all the effort to get us all together for a family activity? Was it worth the sweat, mud-cake baths, and tears to try to make some family memories that would help define our family, and remind us that we belong to each other, look out for each other, and that it’s important for us to have fun together. I have since learned that healthy growth and maturity emotionally and spiritually requires having the joys of belonging and having fun together, not just the “thou shalt nots.”
Sunday, April 17, 2022
Grafted In: a Lesson Learned from a Weeping Cherry Tree*
Every Easter at the home of my adolescence, my Mother would host the family Easter gathering after church. There was usually ham, sweet potatoes, a congealed salad, green beans, red velvet cake, and sweet tea. There was lots of laughter and fun. The Easter Egg hunt was what my cousins and I looked forward to, even into our tweenage years. (We also enjoyed dying the eggs the day before.) We couldn’t wait to take off our Easter “Sunday Best” clothes and put on some more comfortable “egg huntin’ clothes” and compete with our cousins in the annual decorative colored oval orb quest in the front yard. BUT before the meal and the egg hunt was the family picture in our Easter clothes… ugh. This happened in the front yard, usually in front of the Weeping Cherry tree if its blooming corresponded with Easter that year. Though I probably didn’t acknowledge it at the time, this tree was beautiful. Its weeping branches filled with copious pink cherry blossoms looked like a mushroom fountain of flowers spraying up and over and running to the ground. It wasn’t until a storm broke a branch from the tree and it became just a tree no longer weeping, nor producing as many pink flowers…actually kinda ugly… that I learned what had to happen to produce this kind of beauty in the first place. My Dad explained that at some point, the trunk had to be cut and branches had to be grafted-in and the wounds of the tree and the grafted branch had to heal and grow together to make a new tree that was both weeping and produced a beautiful fountain of flowers.
As I think back on that tree, I’m reminded that our broken humanity is just sad, disappointing, and ugly until we are grafted into the Divine through the scars and death and resurrection of Christ. We are redeemed to be a new creation that is compassionate, connected, and beautiful. Easter communicates to us what God had to do to graft us into His beautiful family, adopt us as His, so we could become beautiful like Him, and belong to Him. God had to cut, bruise, and wound His own Son Jesus, in order that we could be forever firmly attached and grow with Him. He says, “See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands...” (Isaiah 49:16a NIV) God’s disappointment with our ugly, rebellious, meanness doesn’t overcome His loving desire for us to be His children forever. “For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.” (Psalm 30:5 NIV) When our stiff-necked pride is broken and we confess our failure and sin and ask God to forgive us and connect us with Him, He takes our broken and helpless self and attaches us into Jesus’ humble but perfect self and our wounds heal and grow us together. He was cut and broken for our sake. On that first Resurrection morning the new growth from the grafting begins… Paul uses the symbolic language of grafted trees to tell us what happens when we let God attach us to Himself through Jesus. We are connected to God as His people forever. He says, “…and you, though a wild olive shoot, have been grafted in among the others and now share in the nourishing sap from the olive root… ”(Romans 11:17 NIV) We become a new creation, capable of both weeping and beauty, compassion, love, connection, and great joy that spills out to be shared with all those around us. We then continue becoming the full God-redeemed creature that He had in mind to make us from the beginning.
Hang in there people! God is glad to be with us! I’m praying for us all!
Thursday, April 14, 2022
Maundy Thursday, What Is It?*
When I was a young Baptist kid, I only knew of two days of the Holy Week, Palm Sunday and Easter. One involved Palm Branches and a Hosanna song, clapping our hands and stomping our feet, and the other day was shared by the Easter Bunny and Jesus (kinda like Christmas being shared by Santa Claus and Baby Jesus). I imagine I loved making the Easter scene with popsicle-stick-Jesus, Mary of Magdala at His feet, and an Angel, including an empty toilet paper roll and a construction paper stone to roll away. I also loved dyeing, hiding, finding eggs, chocolate bunnies and Cadbury Egg commercials (bok, bok). This Christian/Pagan yearly ritual could be confusing.
But then I learned about Good Friday and Maundy Thursday. There was always a mention of the cross and Good Friday, but I never knew why it was called GOOD Friday, especially if Jesus was beaten and killed that day (I later learned that it was called “God’s Friday,” the day He redeemed the sins of the world for all who would belong to Him. Some speculate that it is similar to the farewell words, GOOD bye, that were a shortening of the traveler’s blessing, “God be with ye.”) And I just thought "Maundy Thursday" was the expression of some confused Southerner trying to say Monday, but remembering it was Thursday. Then I learned the most marvelous thing… That "Maundy" comes from the Latin rendering of the word “Command.”
Many wonderful things happened on Maundy Thursday, Jesus showed us what humble leadership looks like by washing the feet of His disciples. He summed up the most important parts of His ministry with the Last Supper and His last words to those who belong to Him. He reminded us to keep the most important commandments to Love God and Love Others, by remaining IN Him. He tells us we Love God by honoring the boundaries and expectations that He lovingly gives us. Jesus says, “If you love me, you will keep my commandments.”(John 14:15 ESV) He also tells how we will be known as someone who belongs to Him, this is where we get the “Maundy” from. Jesus says, “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”(John 13:34–35 ESV). Notice He doesn’t say, you will be known as my disciples if you: have superior scripture knowledge, have better behavior, never mess up, pray more, have more quiet time, go to more religious rituals, are more righteous than others… You won’t be known as His disciples by the number of converts you make, or if you can prove why you are right. He tells us that the proof of being known as one who belongs to Him is balanced on the fulcrum of loving each other, and He adds, “as I have loved you.” He really upped the ante with this statement, because Jesus had just modeled how to love people by washing their feet (even Judas, who betrayed Him). Jesus loves everyone, even His enemies. So Maundy "New Commandment" Thursday is an important life altering day in the Passion Week. Jesus was reminding us that day, how it is like “those who are His,” to act.
So, Happy Maundy Thursday People. Let’s love one another!
