Parents, How do we avoid acting infantile? I haven’t heard that word used too much since my mother used it often when I was a teenager. Not that I don't still act infantile sometimes. Maybe she used it the time I threw a tantrum because my sister was on the riding mower and I had to do our least favorite task of running the weedeater, when it was my turn to mow. I grabbed the chunk of ice out of my cup and hurled it 30 yards down the yard and she just so happened to drive right into its path hitting her in the side of the head… just so you know, while I still regret this, she was not significantly hurt, but her artful dramatic performance in front of my parents got her out of doing any yard work for several weeks. Infantile means what it sounds like, behavior befitting an infant, babyish, or childish. We recently watched a documentary about Taylor Swift in which she states the generally accepted truth that “stars get stuck at whatever age they became famous.” She states the axiom when talking about turning 30 and having to reinvent her public persona several times since she became famous as a teenager. I also understand that we can get stuck emotionally at whatever age we experience significant trauma in our life. This trauma can be the kind of trauma in which we experience a life changing physical or emotional hurt, like a major accident, or a parents’ divorce, or loss of a close family member. This can also be the kind of trauma where something we desperately need for normal development is missing. As children, certain parts of our brain develop at certain ages, if a parent or caregiver is missing physically or emotionally during that time we get stuck at that age in our development. We may miss getting the discipline or established boundaries we need because a parent is too exhausted or preoccupied to do it. Unless we are able to work through and let God reparent us, we will react to our world from the perspective of a child at whatever age we get stuck for the rest of our lives. Trauma may have happened to Jacob when he realized that his twin Esau was his Dad’s favorite, or when his mother failed to teach him not to trick his brother out of birthrights and blessings. Eventually, after acting like a knucklehead all his life, He encountered God and God wrestled with him, changed his life, humbled him, matured him and he began looking out for others instead of just himself. He quit acting so infantile. God even changed his name. He was not perfect, he still played favorites with his own sons, but he and his sons eventually began treating each other well. (Jacob’s story is in Genesis 25ff). God’s plan is for us to grow up, not stay infantile. Unfortunately it seems that many of us so-called adults are stuck in an infantile state, name calling, taking advantage of someone because we can, whining when we don’t get our way, holding a grudge… We need reparenting. There are some good things coming out of this pandemic crisis, maybe some of us will grow up through it and not let the traumas of it get us stuck even deeper.
When we encounter God, our lives change, we begin maturing, we are no longer infants looking out only for ourselves. Peter tells us: “So get rid of all evil behavior. Be done with all deceit, hypocrisy, jealousy, and all unkind speech. Like newborn babies, you must crave pure spiritual milk so that you will grow into a full experience of salvation. Cry out for this nourishment, now that you have had a taste of the Lord’s kindness. 1 Peter 2:1-3 (NLT2) It’s easy to act infantile when we are hurting and life is difficult, but it is also a perfect time to grow up. Let’s talk to God, let Him reparent us with the truth of His Word, the power of His Spirit and those around us who are more mature. Let’s keep maturing and help those around us mature too.
Hang in there people! God is with us! I’m praying for you all!
